List of Captain Haddock's Curses

"Pockmark!... Freshwater swabs!... Bully!.."

—The parrot that insulted Haddock

From the simple ("dogs!" and "rats!") to the scientific ("pithecanthropuses!") to the sublime ("vegetarian!"), Captain Haddock is famous for his many curses. This is an attempted comprehensive list of all his curses and insults. Expressions marked with the symbol "♦" may contain an intended reference to people of a present-day ethnicity, nationality or culture.  Expressions marked "**" are found in the American English translation in the Golden Press edition (1959).

Concept origin

Hergé conceived Haddock, as a sailor, to possess a very colorful vocabulary, which in connection with his temper would naturally lead to him expressing a lot of curses if angered. In the 1940's censorship was very strict in the media, also in regard of the inclusion of offensive language. However, Hergé then recalled an incident from 1933 in which a trader used the term "Four Power Pact" in an offensive manner, which inspired him to employ officially non-offensive terms (especially scientifically used ones) like swear words.

The concept was first employed in Haddock's debut issue, The Crab with the Golden Claws, particularly in the memorable scene where Haddock charges a group of hostile Berbers cursing at the top of his lungs. The idea proved so successful that it became a staple characteristic for Haddock and would continue unabated throughout his appearances in the Tintin franchise.

A

• A million scavenging sea monsters! **
• Aardvark!
• Abecedarians!
• Aborigine! ♦
• Addle-pated lumps of anthracite! ♦
• (old) Alcoholic !
• Amoeba! **
• Anachronisms!
• Anacoluthon(s)!
• Antediluvian bulldozer [Tibet p60 B2]!
• Anthracite! ♦
• Anthropithecus!
• Anthropophagus!
• Apes! **
• Arabian Nightmare!
• Artichokes!
• Assassins!
• Autocrats!
• Aztecs!

B

• Baboon(s)!
• Baby-snatchers!
• Bagpipers!
• Bald-headed budgerigar!
• Balkan Beetle! ♦
• Bandit(s)!
• Bandicoots!
• Bashi-bazouks!
• Bath-tub Admiral!
• Beast(s)!
• Belemnite!
• Big-head! TT35
• Billions and billions of blue blistering barnacles!
• Billions of blue blistering boiled and barbecued barnacles!
• Billions of bilious barbecued blue blistering barnacles!
• Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!
• Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon! (fun fact: this is the Captain's longest curse, containing 61 characters)
• Billions of blue blistering barnacles!
• Bird-brain! **
• Blabber-mouthed parakeet! **
• Black-beetles! ♦
• Black marketeers!
• Blackamoor! ♦
• Blackbird! ♦
• Blackguards!
• Blistering Barnacles!
• Blistering blundering birdbrain!
• Blistering Eardrums!
• Bloodsuckers!
• Blue blistering barnacles!
• Blue Blistering Bell-Bottomed Balderdash!
• Blunderbuss!
• Blunderer! **
• Blundering baboon! **
• Body-snatcher!
• Bootlegger!
• Borgia!
• Bougainvillea!
• Brat!
• Breathalyser!
• Brigand(s)!
• Brute(s)!
• Buccaneer!
• Bully!
• Bums! **
• Butcher!

C

• Cabbage heads! **
• Cachinnating cockatoo!
• Cannibal(s)!
• Carpet-sellers!
• Cataplasm! **
• Caterpillars!
• Centipede!
• Cercopithecus!
• Certified diplodocuses!" (a pun on the Bordurian embassy car's CD plate)
• Chimpanzees! **
• Chowderheads! **
• Churls! **
• Clown! **
• Coconuts! ♦
• Cocoon! **
• Coelacanth!
• Colocynths!
• Corsair!
• Cowards!
• Crabapples!
• Crawfish! **
• Cro-Magnon!
• Crooks!
• Clumsy-footed quadrupeds!
• Cushion footed quadrupeds!
• Cyclone!
• Cyclotron!

D

• Dictatorial duck-billed diplodocus
• Diplodocus!
• Dipsomaniac!
• Dizzard!
• Doddering donkeys! **
• Dogs!
• Dolts! **
• Doryphore(s)! (Used as a racist term in French for a German person, actual meaning is Colorado potato beetle) ♦
• Dry-dock sailors! **
• Duck-billed platypus!
• Dunderheaded coconuts!
• Dunderheaded Ethelreds!
• Dynamiter!
• Dinosaurs!

E

• Earthworms! **
• Ectoplasmic byproduct!
• Ectoplasm(s)!
• Egoists!

F

• Fake sea-dogs! **
• Fancy-dress Fascist!
• Fancy-dress Fatima! ♦
• Fancy-dress freebooter(s)! SU24
• Fatfaces!
• Fiends! **
• Filibuster(s)!
• Filibusterer! **
• Flaming Jack-in-the-Box!
• Fourlegged Cyrano!
• Freshwater pirate! SU24
• Freshwater swabs!
• Fuzzy-wuzzy! ♦
• Freshwater politicians
• Freshwater Spacemen
• Fresh-water swabs! **
• Fungus! **

G

• Goat!
• Gallows-fodder!
• Gang of thieves!
• Gangsters!
• Garglers! **
• Gibbering anthropoids!
• Gibbering ghost!
• Great flat-footed grizzly bear!
• Great galloping gophers! **
• Great horned toads! **
• Gobbledygooks!
• Gogglers!
• Goosecaps!
• Gorillas! **
• Grabjug! **
• Great Caesar's ghost! **
• Great gallpoing gophers! **
• Great horned toads! **
• Great hornspoon! **
• Great Scott! **
• Great thunder! **
• Guano gatherer! ♦
• Gyroscope!

H

• Harlequin!
• Heretic!
• Highwayman!
• Hi-jackers!
• Holy hurricanes!
• Holy mackerel! **
• Hoodlum!
• Hooligans!
• Howling hurricanes! **
• Hydrocarbon!
• Hyenas! **

I

• Iconoclast(s)!
• Idiots!
• Ignoramus!
• Incompetents! **
• Insect! **
• Interplanetary goat, you! EM62
• Interplanetary Pirates!
• Invertebrate(s)!

J

• Jackanapes! **
• Jellied eel!
• Jellyfish!
• Jobbernowl! TT60
• Jumping catfish! **

K

• Kleptomaniacs!
• Knaves! **
• Ku Klux Klan!

L

• Landlubbers!
• Licorice-livered lubberly scum in thousands of thundering typhoons!
• Liquorice!
• Lily-livered landlubbers!
• Lily-livered bandicoots!
• Loathsome brute!
• Lobotomist! **
• Logarithm!
• Lubberly scum!

M

• Macrocephalic baboon!
• Malefactors! **
• Maniac(s)!
• Meddlesome Cabin Boy!
• Megacycle! TT60!
• Megalomaniac!
• Mameluke!
• Mercenaries! **
• Miserable bird
• Miserable blundering barbecued blister!
• Miserable earthworms!
• Miserable insect! **
• Miserable miser!
• Miserable molecule of mildew!
• Misguided missles!
• Mister Mule!
• Mongrel! **
• Monopolizers!
• Monster!
• Morons!
• Moujiks! ♦
• Mountebanks!
• MRKRPXZKRMTFRZ!
• Musical morons!
• Murderers!
• Murderous maelstroms! **
• Millions and billions of blue blistering barnacles!
• Millions of murderous maelstroms! **

N

• Nanny Goat!
• Nest of rattlesnakes!
• Nincompoop!
• Nitwits!
• Nitwitted ninepins!
• Numbskulls!
• Nyctalops!

O

• Odd-toed ungulate!
• Old popinjay! **
• Olympic athlete!
• Ophicleides!
• Orangoutang!
• Ostrogoth!
• Overstuffed water buffaloes! **

P

• Pachyrhizus!
• Paranoiac!
• Parasites!
• Patagonians! ♦
• Pedant! **
• Pestilential pachyderm!
• Phylloxera!
• Picaroons! (from Spanish: pícaro, a "rogue. Same word as Los Picaros, General Alcazar's soldiers)
• Pickled herrings!
• Pirate(s)!
• Pithecanthropic!

mountebanks!

• Pithecanthropic pickpocket! TT37
• Pithecanthropic pockmark(s)!
• Pithecanthropuses!
• SU24
• Pockmarks!
• Pock-marked pin-headed pirate of a pilot! [Flight 714 p16]
• Politician!
• Poltroons!
• Polygraphs!
• Polynesian! ♦
• Prattling
• porpoise!
• Profiteers!
• Proletarians!
• Psychopath!
• Purple profiteering jellyfish!
• Pyrographers!
• Pyromaniac!

Q

• Quivering ectoplasm! **

R

• Rabble! **
• Ragamuffin! **
• Raggle taggle ruminants!
• Rapscallion!
• Rats!
• Reptiles! **
• Rhizopods!
• Road roller!
• Road hog(s)!
• Rodent! **
• Rogues! **
• Ruffian!
• Rug merchants! **
• RKRPXZKRMTFRZ!

S

• Sycopath!
• Rotten sand-hoppers!
• Saucy tramp!
• Savages!
• Scavenger! **
• Scoffing braggart!
• Scorpion!
• Sea gherkin(s)!
• Sea-lice!
• Sea lion! PS9
• Shipwreckers!
• Skunks! **
• Slave trader!
• Slithering salamanders! **
• Slubberdegullions!
• Sparrows!
• Spitfire!
• Squawking popinjay!
• Steamroller(s)!
• Stoolpigeon!
• Stubborn mule! **
• Stubble-headed dweezels
• Subtropical sea-louse!
• Suffering seagulls! **
• Suffering snails! **
• Swine!
• Sycophant!

T

• Technocrat!
• Ten thousand howling hurricanes! **
• Ten thousand terrifying turtles! **
• Ten thousand thundering typhoons!
• Terrapins!
• Terrorists!
• Thieves! **
• Thousands of thundering typhoons! **
• Thunder and lightning! **
• Thunderation! **
• Thundering nitwitted numbskull you!
• Thundering nitwitted seagherkin(s)!
• Thundering tornadoes! **
• Thundering typhoons!
• Tin hatted tyrants!
• Toads!
• Toffee-noses!
• Torturers!
• Traitors!
• Tramps!
• Tribe of Polynesians! DM5
• Troglodyte(s)!
• Turncoats!
• Twister!
• Two-faced insect! **
• Two-timing Tartar twister! ♦
• Two-timing Troglodytes!
• Thieving toads!

U

• Unspeakable monsters! **
• Unspeakable varlets! **

V

• Vagabonds!
• Vampires!
• Vandal!
• Vegetarian!
• Vermicellis!
• Vermin! **
• Villain!
• Viper!
• Visigoth(s)!
• Vivisectionists! **
• Vulture!

W

• Weevils!
• Whale blubber! **
• Whippersnapper!
• Wildcat!
• Woodlice!
• Wreckers!

Y

• Yellow-bellied sons o'troglodytes! **
• Young monkey! TT54

Z

• Zapotecs! ♦
• Zombie! **
• Zulus! **